The McDonald's All-American game took place last night and in a shocking roster mistake by commissioner McDonald, not a single Michigan recruit was chosen to play in the game. Listen pal, let's take off the face paint, get a pair of shoes that fit and pick up the phone and call Glen Robinson and Mitch McGary. Despite this glaring oversight, we can still have a little fun with the game and not at all mention this year's game out of spite. (Congrats to the fantastically named Shabazz Muhammad, the 2012 MVP)
I do have a time machine, but if I didn't or if I didn't have enough used silicone breast implants to make it run (what else could it possibly run on?), I would use youtube to look up now old basketball players when they were in their prime of their youth. Unfortunately the time machine only fits 4 and there could be up 9 people that read this post. Fortunately, youtube is a pretty great substitute for my time machine:
1991- Chris Webber, Juwan Howard, THE Ed O'Bannon, Travis Best and a nasty dunk by Stacy Augmon
1992 - Jason Kidd, Chris Collins and MVP Othella Harrington
1993 - Charles O' Bannon, Randy Livingston and Jerry Stackhouse scoring 27
1995 - Kevin Garnett, Vince Carter, Stephon Mabury and Paul Pierce
1996 - So much talent in this game: Jermaine O'Neal, Tim Thomas, Kobe Bryant, Rip Hamilton
1997 - Odom, Artest, El Amin, FIZER!!! Need I say more?
1999 Dunk Contest - There is a large portion of the population that thinks Nick Collison can't dunk. This video almost disproves their theory:
2001 - Ridiculous find by T.J. Ford to Eddy "The MVP (yes really)" Curry for the dunk. BONUS: Dejaun Wagner sighting:
2002 - Bosh? Anthony? Amare? Who cares? We've got a young J.J. Redick who not surprisingly was the MVP
2003- I can understand Lebron James and Chris Paul on the same team, but who in their right mind would make the teams so lopsided by putting Charlie Villanueva with LeBron and Paul? Ronald's asleep at the switch again.
2004 - Sebastian Telfair, Dwight Howard, Josh Smith, Rajon Rondo, JR Smith
Can you take anything seriously Sebastian?
2005 - Mario Chalmers, Josh McRoberts, Tyler Hansborough and the world renowned Gerald Green headline this game:
2006 - Greg Oden and Kevin Durant met in this game and sparked the debate as to who should be the first pick in the 2008 draft. The debate still rages on...
2007 - Your reingning MVP Derrick Rose, Eric Gordon, Michael Beasley and your future MVP Kevin Love take part in this one:
2008 - Tyreke Evans and Willie Warren duel in this forgettable chapter in the McDonald's game. You do get to see B.J. Mullens though. Most of his family has been wondering where the hell he's been since he got drafted. Look no further Mullens'!
This pretty much brings us up to the present. Anyone involved in 2009's game and beyond is barely old enough to be in the league. That said, I can't help but make a Lance Stephenson domestic abuse joke to close this post.
2009 - Lance Stephenson would throw someone down a flight stairs to be able to play with the Plumlee brothers again:
Get that drunk clown a Glenn Robinson III or Mitch McGary highlight tape for god's sake. We're breaking backboards you painted up freak. Make the call.
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