A Letter to Michigan State Football

Dear MSU Football,

I want to like you, I really do.  But over the years you have made it tough for me to like you.  You toy with my emotions too much.  This game against Central Michigan brings up all these emotions.  First, you don't look good following the horrible game at Notre Dame.  Second, the weakest part of your team got worse over the week losing three more offensive lineman.  Third, and most importantly, I remember this:[yframe url='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4z2D1ZO99wQ']

If you do that again today, we're through.  I don't want to say that this is a "must win" game.  It's more of a "must not lose."  And yes, there is a difference to me.  If you lose, don't bother showing up for the next four games because it's just going to get worse.  And then once you are done starting the Big Ten season off 0-4, just mail in the rest of the season because no one will care anymore.

This is your last chance to right the ship before the onslaught of @OSU, Michigan, Wisconsin, and @Nebraska begins.  Central Michigan is a slightly less quality opponent.  The thing is, I don't feel confident that you will win anymore.  This is essentially the preseason.  I learned as much about the Lions when they went 4-0 then 0-16 in the regular season than what I'm learning about you during this preseason.

Thankfully for you Dan LeFevour and Antonio Brown are no longer on the CMU team.  But Dan Enos was there feeling the pain as a Spartan.  I have a feeling that after watching tape of your performance against Youngstown State, Central's playcalling might remain the same from the LeFevour game.  Pat Narduzzi, teach your kids about a bubble screen sometime.  It might come in handy when you want to win games and stop an offense every now and then.

Dan Roushar, I thought that Don Treadwell went to Miami.  You do know that you don't have to follow his horrible playcalling scheme, right?  I am one of the few people who never liked Tread as an offensive coordinator.  Everybody fell in love with him when he filled in for Coach D (and he did a great job), but they seem to forget that he was a terrible playcaller.  "Here's what we're going to do: run it on first down for about 2 yards, run it on second down for about 1 or 2 more...and now the surprise nobody is thinking of...pass on third and long."  You said we you were going to bring a little more excitement to the offense...attack down the field.  Do it.

That brings me to my next point.  When you do call for a play that attacks downfield, remind Kirk Cousins that he has more than just BJ Cunningham as a wide receiver.  Maybe it's a secret ploy to mess with Big Ten teams who are watching film of him staring BJ down then forcing the ball into him.  Maybe he really does like throwing to Keith Nichol.  Maybe Keshawn Martin really can catch a ball in a real route.  Maybe I had already seen the Scarlett Johansson pics because she took them for and sent them to me months ago.

Lastly I feel I need to address Coach D.  Coach, I really like you.  You're a great fit for this team and the University.  If you ever call for a fake special teams play again in your career, my feelings will change.  What was that?  Seriously?  I know you've been ripped apart for it, but you deserve it.  And don't be afraid to step in and overrule Roushar when we can't run the ball on first or second down.  You were doing alright throwing  in the second quarter against Notre Dame.  Who cares if it's not the old school way to win.  Just when you get to the red zone, tell Cousins to throw one away every now and then.



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