In a profile of New York Times obituary writer Alden Whitman for Esquire magazine in 1966, American journalist Gay Talese drew from his subject a pitch-black admission that he keeps his "files up-to-date," before concluding "masterful obituaries, like fine funerals, must be planned well in advance."
It is unlikely Wayne Rooney would acquiesce with such a sentiment. In the fallout from his inopportune wedding crashing while on England duty in November last year, the Manchester United striker warned critics he will not let them "write my obituary," after pictures emerged of him looking as though he may have consumed a drink for every goal he has ever scored.