AHEM — Mike the Tiger here with a very important Public Tiger Announcement.
All y’all need to CHILL.
I mean What The Alabama, guys? All of the sudden you want Me the Tiger to be homeless? Do I need to get a lawyer? Will LSU just supply me with one, just like LSU supplies me with everything else that I need?
They’ve got a petition to evict me from my home, like WHAT DID I DO TO YOU. I’m just the best Tiger around, the most lovable, the most beautiful. Tremendously striped, hugely tailed.