The deities sent a message.
I’m talking the triumvirate of Naismithius, Greek God of Hoops, Bronconagurskius, Greek God of Pigskin, and Ilovelucyia, the Greek Goddess of TV.
The message, as passively aggressively as it was presented:
You are watching too much sports on television. It’s time to get out of the house.
How do I know that’s what they are telling me?
Because . . . there’s an annoying glitch in the signal of the four ESPN stations on my telly. It does not exist on any other channel. An annoyance really.