You are the technically gifted, pristinely groomed LA Galaxy winger Romain Alessandrini.
It’s the 82nd minute of a frustrating evening at Le Banc; your beloved team is losing to LAFC by a pair of goals and not much time is remaining. Body exhausted, legs heavy, mind cloudy, even your beard hurts. You’ve run, cut and gestured your tail off all game without reward and now you’re patiently waiting for one more opportunity...wait, Zlatan just popped the ball away from the defender and is barreling towards the endline...
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It’s business time.