Raiderdamus’ Friday Foretelling: Raiders vs. Bengals

We are required to inform you that these Foretellings are works of satire and are not for the faint of heart. Due to their content they should not be read by anyone. Please enjoy at your own risk. -The Editor

Greetings, Raider fans! It is I, the man who gets in the sauna to keep cool, the man who goes harder than the tree that murdered Sonny Bono, the man who puts the fun in dysfunction, Raiderdamus the Great and Powerful.

While the Raiders are trending up, their opponent this week is most decidedly trending in the opposite direction, and as is my custom I’ve consulted with the Great Old One to determine what will become of our heroes in Silver and Black on Sunday. Here is what the Great…