College basketball season is almost here. Inarguably the best time of year. As such, I present you with my hymn to the pillory.
Fledgling legends lurk around the national stage’s periphery, waiting only for the passage of time to narrate their illustrious tales for them. Neurotic middle-aged men across the Midwest don oversized pastel night gowns — considered “women’s clothing,” but I aggressively deem that limiting and reductive — with Lisa Frank-like renderings of jungle creatures and dreadful animal puns. Or maybe just one.
College basketball fans are in for one of the sport’s most interesting — in a good way, this time — seasons in recent memory.