It is mathematically impossible to win a baseball game by scoring zero runs—even if the other team forfeits. Today, the Kansas City Royals scored zero runs through eight innings on a whopping five baserunners (a pair of walks and three singles) against the Minnesota Twins. It was the core reason that they lost.
However, the worst part about the whole offensive performance is probably that, with two outs in the ninth inning and the whole lede and title of my recap already written, they pushed across two garbage time runs. As a result, it ruined my carefully-constructed snark but didn’t even result in a win, losing 6-2 instead of 6-0.