I know the Royals have often been a disappointing and frustrating watch this year, but man, this year’s Pittsburgh Pirates squad is despressing as hell. They have arguably the best pitcher in baseball in Paul Skenes, who has been great since day one. And yet, they’re 38-53 with very little chance they’ll improve significantly in the next few years. One could say that they’re the Pirates who didn’t do anything in the offseason, as they’ve only got a payroll of $92 million.
If you don’t understand that reference, well, I’m sorry—or maybe I’m not, I dunno. The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything is a silly song from the show Veggie Tales, a CGI cartoon where vegetables and fruits comedically reenact scenes and stories from the Bible.