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A Mountain Lion’s Day in Des Moines

The Iowa Department of Natural Resources reported Thursday that a mountain lion had been confirmed within the city limits of Des Moines. What they didn’t confirm is what the mountain lion did while in Des Moines.

After filing a FOMLIA (Freedom of Mountain Lion Information Act), Wide Right & Natty Lite got exclusive details on what the mountain lion did while in the Des Moines metro this week.

First, like any visitor to Des Moines, the mountain lion got a douchecanoe picture with The Travelers sign before mauling a passerby insurance agent.

Jared Larson/Wide Right & Natty Lite

After feeding their own narcissistic qualities, the cougar decided to stop by the Farmers Market.