Guess who isn’t working for the next two weeks and is drunk again?
It’s me, and I’m busy shooting all-time highs on the golf course AND slugging all-time beers at the saddest fucking backwoods bar you’ve ever seen.
It’s DATELINE, exurban Arizona, and let me tell ya, I know why the Sun Devils are havin’ a tough time recruiting. It’s ‘cus there’s too much sun, too much satan, and not enough God, and that’s comin’ from a lifelong pacifist, atheist, masochist, and most other ‘ists ya can think of.
I’m here to drive my parents to physical therapy appointments and to cure ballots, and guess what, we’re all out of bubblegum.