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Texans-Colts Preview: SIX Things To Watch For

Make the leaves change color. Turn that yellow light into gold. Cover my skin in pumpkin butter and stick those leaves of different colors—red, yellow, orange, goldenrod, maroon, burgundy—across my budding winter gut. Flip the CLOSED signs to OPEN at the vacant Blockbusters and K-Marts across the country, to make room for transient employees huffing fog machines and peddling cheap fabric and novelty plastic to transfigure goblins into nurses and blue aliens from a movie that came out ten years ago. Pump me full of cinnamon and pumpkin coffee. Kiss my neck. Take me to that exotic place, the Wegman’s.