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Incompletions: Texans v. Chargers (A Bolt from the Blue)

MATT WESTON:

I’ve evolved to a higher form of consciousness. You’ll never hear me say, Mondays are just better after a Houston Texans win, or I can’t wait for half off pizza from Papa John’s, or feel a jolt of electricity when a three win football team brings the tally to number four. I’m no longer a primitive, someone who is chained by what happens on the god damn television, or the boundaries of my body, or the sloshed around to the tunes of the fortune of other men. No. I have grown outside these constraints, and have become something grander than that.