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2020 AFC South Season Preview: J.J. Watt, Deshaun Watson, and the Houston Texans

Numbers are for losers. DVOA, points allowed, yards, touchdowns, Pythagorean win totals, expected points added, point differential, turnover differential, one possession record...these are silly squiggles for empty cowards who live hunched over a slobbery keyboard. Win-loss record. That’s the only thing that matters.

This attitude usually lasts for one season, until the following year, when that nymph Fortuna turns her sweet songs and blessings into a flurry of sharp little teeth that mash flesh and squirt blood like some cannibalistic vintner. Then the purveyor of such sentiments goes back and digs up old Bill Barnwell columns from Grantland and learns the truths underlying a sixteen game sample size.