2018 NFL Season Preview: The MySpace Top 8

I think the Houston Texans are my favorite football team. I love DeAndre Hopkins’ stretchy one-arm spider catches, Jadeveon Clowney doctor’s notes, Bill O’Brien not going for it on fourth down in playoff games or running draws on third and eight, injury lamentations, desire for J.J. Watt to come crawling out of that machine sailing through the fields of time, collective patience for Deshaun Watson to come scrambling back into our televisions and into our hearts, lugubrious special teams, and Lamar Miller weight loss tips.

This octagon isn’t for loved ones, though. This is the MySpace Top 8. This cork board covered in photos stuck with tacks is reserved for friends, people outside the square…