My Wife Almost Left Me (And Still Might)

We didn't come out here to play tiddlywinks, son. -Hal SmithFor far too many years on here I wanted to be the good guy. I never slid into anyone’s DMs. I wasn’t inappropriate with anyone. I got suspended for 12 hours because – if I remember correctly – I said I hoped a guy (Cardinals fan, maybe?) got syphilis. But here’s the thing: I’m an asshole.

Y’all never saw it because I had cultivated this online persona of Thickie Don. Having a Twitter account and a blog that had been around for a while came to be my sole source of dopamine. The likes and RTs that came with some joke or comment, or blog post, or [waves hands around head] was the dragon I chased. It’s incredibly embarrassing to say…