In the pantheon of great Chicago Bears quarterbacks — and believe me, that list goes on to infinity — there are two players head and shoulders above the rest. Of course, you know that Jay Cutler — CUTTY! — is No. 1.
A very close second is Kyle Orton, AKA Neck Beard.
Neck Beard hasn’t played in the NFL since 2014, but no matter. The Miami Dolphins still considered bringing him in to replace the injured Ryan Tannehill.
Personally, I think they should bring in Neck Beard anyway. That way, all the Chicagoans in God’s Waiting Room would feel all warm inside and familiar with the local football club while they’re hanging around waiting to pass on into the sweet hereafter.