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Why I hate the Houston Rockets

Sports are weird. Sports are the one place in life where I can safely just say “f—k all these people. Screw this whole city. I hate [fill in the blank] team and all their stupid fans,” and not be marched through town like Cersei Lannister with shame bells ringing round my ears.

Sports provide a safe zone of sorts for the worst of our inner urges. As human beings, we are naturally inclined to draw lines in the sand—no matter how meaningless said lines may be—and then blindly align ourselves with all fellow humans on our own side of the line, and blindly malign the moral values of all humans on the other side.