There’s this little thing called the NFL draft that started yesterday; you might have heard of it? The Cleveland Browns avoided Brownsing this thing by taking Texas A&M DE Myles Garrett with the first pick. Fortunately, the Chicago Bears were there to take the Browns’ place, giving up several future picks to move up all of one spot and take UNC QB Mitch Trubisky at second. Deshaun Watson had to wait all the way to 12th! Some team* drafted Patrick Mahomes before him! Over 1 million people watch this bizarre, nonsensical, socialistic spectacle every year, folks.
*Before you all flood my inbox: yes, I know, it was KC.