GREETINGS, EARTH CITIZENS. BY NOW YOU ARE AWARE OF THE IMMINENT ARRIVAL OF A RAGING STORM FROM THE OCEANS. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO WONDER IF IT AND THE DESTRUCTION IT WILL CAUSE ARE PART OF OUR PLANS, WE CANDIDLY INFORM YOU IT IS NOT. FOR THOUGH OUR POWERS ARE MIGHTY INDEED, WE ARE UNABLE TO CONTROL THE RAGING OF A PLANET.
FOR NOW.
YOU ARE DOUBTLESSLY WONDERING HOW THIS WILL AFFECT YOUR BELOVED FOOTBALL GAMES. FIRSTLY, THAT INFORMATION WILL BE DISSEMINATED TO YOU THROUGH THE NORMAL CHANNELS, NOT THROUGH US. SECONDLY, PERHAPS CONSIDER THE GRANDER CONSEQUENCES OF SUCH A MIGHTY STORM.