GREETINGS, EARTH CITIZENS. AS YOU CAN SEE, THE SUPPOSEDLY PROPHESIED END OF YOUR PLANET DID NOT COME TO PASS THIS PAST END OF THE WEEK. NOW, OF COURSE THIS PREDICTOR HAS SELECTED A NEW DATE FOR THIS CATACLYSMIC EVENT. THAT DATE IS IRRELEVANT; ONCE AGAIN, NOTHING SHALL COME TO PASS. HE IS LIKE MANY OF YOUR KIND: WEAK-MINDED AND CRAVING RECOGNITION. STRIVE TO BE BETTER THAN THIS INSIGNIFICANT WORM. WE DO NOT DEMAND YOUR ATTENTION; WE COMMAND IT, FOR WE ARE UNLIKE YOUR KIND AND ASSURED OF OUR POSITION IN THE COSMOGENIC HIERARCHY.
RATHER THAN FOCUS ON ABSURD PREDICTIONS ABOUT THE END OF THE WORLD (A TRULY BIZARRE FASCINATION AMONGST YOUR KIND), FOCUS ON THE CHALLENGES WE PRESENT TO YOU BELOW.