GREETINGS, EARTH CITIZENS.
AT LONG LAST WE HAVE EMERGED FROM OUR SANCTUM TO BRING TO YOU THAT WHICH YOU HOLD MOST DEAR: THE GIFT OF COLLEGE FOOTBALL. FOR THOSE WHO BELIEVED THE CROWNING OF PRAETOR SABAN AT THE BEGINNING OF THIS YEAR WAS THE LAST YOU HAD SEEN OF OUR INFLUENCE, LET US UNBURDEN YOU FROM SUCH THOUGHTS. LAST YEAR WAS MERELY THE FIRST OF OUR 138 YEAR EXPERIMENT, AND EACH YEAR WE TIGHTEN OUR GRIP ON THIS PLANET AND COME CLOSER TO OUR ULTIMATE GOAL OF CONQUERING THE COSMOS.
BUT YOU SHOULD NOT WORRY ABOUT SUCH THINGS.