It's just been a tough year for umpires. Everyone is all over these guys and in some cases, it's deserved. Well I'll tell you what my chest protected brethren, I FORGIVE YOU. I'm not perfect either, despite what my generally negative writing might imply. Umps make mistakes just like people do. They missed a third strike call; you forgot to pick your daughter up at soccer practice because you were at a bar, finally remembered an hour late, drove drunk to pick her up and hit a pedestrian, checked for a pulse (faint), left the scene and picked up your crying daughter on the steps of school and had to explain to her that daddy still loves her, but not as much as booze and the low-cut-halter-top-clad bartender who serves it.
That said, you probably shouldn't do this Blue:
Umpires definitely reward us from time to time with their hilarious strike out histrionics. Of course, they can't do that at the major league level, there is way too much professionalism in the umpire profession. Let's take a look at a few attempts at humor by our fine blue-shirted friends and few other umpire related misadventures.
Hilarious Strike Out Call
Hilariously Bad Strike Call - Fear not sports fan, this player's dad did catch the ump in the parking lot and gave him the Stow treatment.
Tara Reid-Width Strike Zone - So, So wide.
Michael Jackson Like Strikeout Call
Pre-Rape Mike Tyson Uppercut
Like an English 15 year old at a Paul Oakenfold Show
You know Blue, you can be dicks at times. Years and years of playing second fiddle to the people that fans actually come to see has left you bitter. Nevermind that you wouldn't have a career without people with actual talent, why can't you be the stars?
...and more dickishness:
at least we know why you're a dick now:
Probably the best punishment any umpire could inflict on 45 year old mechanic/softball players that hate their wives. This also saved the wife an hour and a half recap post game (but not the beating).
...and a completely different way to make a completely different umpire look like a dick (NSFW)...or this one. You have a dirty mouth Maria. Add that to your cold war USSR sympathies and I'm still not turned off.
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