NBA Cheapshots Get Me All Fired Up About Baseball Fights

All this pent up basketball agression is really bringing out my pent up agression over the lack of baseball brawls so far this season. Sure it has "no place in the game," and is "ungentlemanly," and "ruins the integrity of the game."  But it also "get fans excited," and "brings the team together," and gives an opportunity for that smug Josh Hamilton to be "hit very hard in the face."  As long as no one gets hurt beyong bruised pride I'm all for the occasionaly dust up.  These brawls have produced some of the sport's most iconic moments from Robin Ventura's face being caved in by Nolan Ryan's arthritic hands to Bill Lee coming out of a pile with an only semi-attached pitching arm.  All I'm asking for is one "accidental," Aroldis Champman lazer beam into Matt Holiday's lower back.  Yes it's going to sting, but not nearly as much as jiu-jitsu practictioner Matt Holiday's flying side kick.

Raise your hand if you like those really lopsided baseball fights where one guy gets pummeled ala the aformentioned Ventura face kneading.  Well my hand is up and as a result I thought we'd take a look at some of the more lopsided baseball fights in history.  In that vein, I would have really like to see a Bynum / Barea throwdown, if only because it would have looked exactly like this.

8. Tony Batista vs. A Japanese Pitcher -  Although Tony Batista does not beat anyone up, or even throw a punch in this video, I think it's fair to say that by even considering charging the mound he shattered this pitcher's confidence, bravado and possibly his macheesmo to the point that he was unable to satisy a woman, or even himself, for many years.

7. Jose Offerman vs. The World - If there were doctorate level anger management courses Jose Offerman would probably have been ordered by a court to attend them by now.  Can you imagine bringing a sub-par report card home to this guy?  Your only saving grace would be that in both the below instances he didn't actually connect with his punch or his swing.  Hopefully little Jose Jr. knows how to stick and move.

6. Delmon Young's Bat vs. An Umpire's Chest Proctector - I almost forgot that this guy is a certifiable nut job.  He's really reigned it in in the last few years and that's commendable.  His bat throw accuracy is also so commendable that the chest protector never had a chance.  The final commendable piece of this video is the fact that he waits, for comedic timing purposes presumably, until he is out of frame to throw the bat, making it looks like it appears from nowhere.

5. Oklahoma State vs. Oklahoma - Jesus Darren Cox at least attempt to defend yourself.  #13 has obviously perfected the Ricky Bobby windmill technique, the last thing you want to do is fall down and act like a trailer in the face of a tornado.  I hope co-workers still give you shit about being pummeled in 1987.

4. Quebec vs. Spirit - I was certain that the batter was going to crush this pitcher.  The only chance the pitcher had was the nuclear option, executed to perfection in the form of a cleat directly to the face. Anytime you can work Thunderstruck into a video I'm going to attempt to post it in this space.  Same thing goes for Back in Black and Genie in a Bottle.

3.  It takes a couple watches and even a little slow-mo, but that laser-guided precision strike haymaker to the jaw immediately knocks out the batter.  I'm not sure out pitcher could repeat it, but it worked wonderfully here.

2. Izzy Alcantara vs. A Rawlings Facemask - Lest we forget...

1. Kyle Farnsworth and Paul Wilson - This is the Tyson vs. Burbick of baseball fights. If you look very closely, you can clearly see Paul Wilson soil himself three steps in to his light jog at Farnsworth. You can see the same look on Ken Watanabe and Tom Cruise's face in that final machine-gun-charge scene in Last Samurai, without the pride and courage and with pure terror.

Let me know if I missed any good ones in the comments.

Back to the Detroit Tigers Newsfeed