As I stewed watching David Ortiz's Sunday afternoon HR against Jose Valverde, I couldn't help but be angry at everything, including Ortiz's traditional sloth-like crawl around the bases. He moves around the bases with the grace of a hippo as his short choppy steps cover ground equal to the average gait of a 9 year old male (human). As he nears the bases it's hard to tell if he's moving at all or running in place.
I thought I'd do a small post to pay homage to the hitter that shows up the pitcher, whether that be by burrowing around the bases or flipping the bat in an obnoxious, occasionally ninja turtle like manner. Here's to you, clowns of the diamond, arrogant bat flippers and saunterers...and fat guys that just can't run at a normal human speed.
Ortiz - 25 seconds - Just look how long it takes him to come around first base. What is he doing out of frame? At first I figured he at least changed uniforms or batting helmets, or got a haircut, but upon closer inspection he is in fact wearing the same jersey and haircut, so I'm stumped.
30 seconds - Same deal, slightly slower.
This is one of 4 home runs that Jacque Jones hit for the Tigers that season. He's still wanted in Detroit on charges of grand theft paycheck
From a simpler time when the men that were men had frosted tips and no one questioned pills in your locker, regardless of whether they had a Russian label and a name, that loosely translated meant "badger tranquilizer."
And on to the bat flips...
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