With most teams looking at four games left in the standings, MLS’s Eastern Conference has sorted itself into three groups: the top four are all legitimately good, then there are two who are flawed but definitely going to the playoffs, and then...everyone else. And yes, everyone, including D.C. United. Yes, believe it or not, this applies to you, Black-and-Red faithful. We’re talking about playoffs.
Now, I know what you’re thinking:
This team isn’t going to the playoffs. I don’t wanna hear about the playoffs. Shut up about the playoffs!
That’s my impression of you, and even though I just kind of winged it, it’s really not too bad for a first attempt.