Keeler: Darcy Kuemper 7, Corey Perry 0. Avalanche goalie handling Tampa Bay Lightning, and critics, like a Stanley Cup champ.

First the eye, then the groin. At one point, Corey Perry tried to dislodge his stick from Darcy Kuemper’s groin area the way you’d use a crowbar to remove rotting wood from a porch.

“He just likes to get to the net,” Kuemper, the Avalanche goaltender, said of Perry, the Lightning pest who later nose-dived into Kuemper’s midsection during Colorado’s 7-0 curb-stomping in Game 2 of the Stanley Cup Fin . . .