Which starting pitcher shall be this season’s diamond?

Photo by Frank Jansky/Icon Sportswire via Getty ImagesDear Readers,

Another winter melts behind us as the boys of summer return to dazzle us with diving catches and deep drives. Our local ballplayers — no doubt champing at the bit to show off the latest skills honed in devotion to their craft — are led by a sensational group of starting pitchers that cannot be equaled by any other ‘Ton in our great Kingdom. Indeed, the hurlers of the Landia outpitch, outhustle, and outgut their adversaries with such grit and determination that nearby metal smelts itself. Mercy!

And of course, dear readers, if you come to this gossip rag, then you are surely aware that the group as a whole is immaculate (and…