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The Home Run Derby is decadent and depraved

For three and a half months we’ve watched nothing but dingers. Copious amounts of them, really. Some 3,691 of them already, to be exact. But tonight, we’ll again be celebrating The Dinger, as eight strapping young hulks will slug dinger after dinger to anoint this year’s One True Dinger.

Seems a bit odd in these times. As if Alaska called in all of their hearty crabbers who have worked tirelessly all year to catch crab for one day of...well, of catching crab. Hooray for the celebration!

Tommy La Stella is smaller than me and has 16 dingers so far this season, or as the math would say has 6 more dingers this season than he’d hit in the 5-year career he’d logged prior to 2019.