During the Reds' struggles to find a leadoff man a couple of years ago, a smart-aleck writer answered a Tweet with this: It's not like you call 1-800-LEADOFF.
Snarky, but true.
Given the struggles of closer Raisel Iglesias, I could trot out the 1-800-CLOSERS line.
Still snarky, but not true.
One of the best closers in recent history, Craig Kimbrel, is available. Kimbrel remains a free agent. Kimbrel went 5-1 with a 2.74 ERA and 42 saves last year for the Boston Red Sox. He struck out 96 and walked 31 in 62 1/3 innings.