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White Sox Drop Game 2 to Astros, 9-4

The Chicago White Sox suffered a demoralizing, 9-4 loss to the Houston Astros on Friday afternoon in Minute Maid Park. While the Sox seemed well-positioned to win coming into today’s action, the Universe had other plans. Not even Drake LaRoche could have saved the team from the many ailments that befell them.

You know what this game was like? It was like that nagging pain that you’ve had in your back for about six months. Sometimes, the pain is so excruciating that your only defense is to lay down and take as many Tylenols as you are allowed to have without dying.