The Rays pummel the White Sox, so let’s tour Chicago together

Happy Tuesday, White Sox friends. You’d be in for a doozy of a recap today, because this game doesn’t deserve your attention, so you’ve earned a little treat for being such a graceful and loyal South Sider. Cubs fans could never (without the cognitive dissonance and toxic positivity).

In an effort to give my readers a more kinesthetically empathetic experience while we deal with the aftermath of these games, I’ve created the South Side Sox Sliding Scale of Suck:

As it stands at first pitch, I am already slightly annoyed by the lineup. By now, skipper Pedro Grifol should know that it doesn’t pay to give Tommy Pham a day off when he’s hitting the ball, but common sense doesn’t figure into his…