Back to the Chicago White Sox Newsfeed

PECOTA: Otherworldly computational intelligence predicts bad season for White Sox

Imagine that you have access to the world’s most powerful quantum computer. This is a machine with nearly god-like capabilities of taking unlimited information, to not just count the grains of sand on a beach but to recreate the ancient rocks from which each grain eroded. And you take this opportunity to tell it that you’re hungry. You haven’t eaten since lunch, and honestly, it was a light lunch. The computer summons its vast post-human intelligence, and tells you to maybe eat dinner.

“Wow,” you’d think, with a level of respect falling somewhat short of awe. “No shit.