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Need more useless baseball metrics -- stat

Modern baseball statistics are much like restless leg syndrome, like gluten or sleep numbers. You know, crap someone made up for no good reason.

In fact, I think CRAP is one of the new baseball stats. It stands for Creepy Ratios And Percentages. Or maybe not. One of my favorites is LIPS (Late Inning Pressure Situations) though it was much more fun when it belonged to Morganna, the Kissing Bandit.

It isn't as if baseball did not already have enough statistics. Good old RBIs and ERAs. They've gotten us through peace, war, the wave, artificial turf and the San Diego Chicken, so it isn't as if we were understat-ted.