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Know Your Enemy: Houston Astros

I have a working theory that the Astros manufactured the entire COVID-19 pandemic just so they wouldn’t have to play in front of hostile crowds during the 2020 season. Given how they are still being booed and still being taunted with trash cans when they’re at other fields, this theory has some credence as long as you have no other follow-up questions.

A.J. Hinch is the only one really to have punished for the scandal, by having to manage the Tigers this season. Nothing happened to any of the players. But thank god MLB is saving us from the horrors of Spider Tack, because that’s really what is ruining the sanctity of baseball.