Imagine the White Sox losing to the Diamondbacks

Happy Monday, White Sox fans, and happy first-postgame-coverage-of-the-2023-preseason to me. Thanks to the lack of a televised, or even audio broadcast, I’m confined to my computer, forced to unlock the magic of my imagination while I gaze half-heartedly at this poorly-rendered graphic in front of me.

The excitement and drama is unmatched.White Sox fans, I’m crawling in the sewer at the bottom tier of sports journalism, as I refresh my browser in anticipation of even the smallest morsel of information to report to you. What a joy it is to listen to the White Sox game on the radio, as it hearkens back to lighthearted memories of playing catch with a non-regulation ball and glove in a random…