Hey there, everybody! It’s the home opener!
As the final task in the descent into madness that has been covering the first eight days of the 2021 season — 59 stories and counting since Opening Day in Anaheim a week ago — I am your host for today’s ballgame, expected to last around four hours but subject to change, as events warrant, e.g., the game simply never ends and we are trapped in another dimension like those floating mirror prison things in Superman.
Lance Lynn, of the “seconds” Lynns, takes the mound for his second start of the season, and home and White Sox debut.