James Bridget Gordon: So, true story: I was out all day on Saturday and didn't get home until super late. I got home and checked the score and, like, had to check it again from a few different sources. There was a moment when I thought that literally the entire internet was trying to prank me.
Anyway! We beat Seattle! It was great! Let's talk about how great it is!
Ruben Tisch: The Sounders of Seattle were throughly DESTROYED at the hands of our BELOVED red attired men. The second half rendered them OBSOLETE.