I had a friend - let’s call him Zuul, because that wasn’t his name - who, as a part of one of his periodic downward spirals, was arrested for defecating on the roses meticulously grown by his neighbor. When a constable asked what he could have been thinking, he said, “Did you see the leaves spindling? What I did was horticulture.”
It’s a rare gift, that kind of grace under pressure. Witness the delightful peregrinations of Columbus Crew owner Anthony Precourt, whose months of deliberate mismanagement have driven the Crew’s numbers to right about where they’ve always been.