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MLB Closer to Implementing New Slide Rules, Pushing Sport Further into SABR Nerdery

As I’m sure you’re aware by now, this beautifully woven tapestry of a sport we know as baseball is in dire jeopardy of devolving fully into a monstrosity of numbers. First the dweebs told us a pitcher’s record doesn’t matter, as though the will to win was no longer applicable. Then they said RBI’s are not an accurate measure of a batter’s performance, that gritting your teeth and choking up to drive that runner in from second with two outs is largely a product of situations outside a hitter’s control. There’s even an attack on batting average, that most revered of statistics.