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March 31: Let’s hit the bar and talk Cubs on Opening Day. Hey, where is everybody?

DING!

It’s a calendar notification:

“Opening Day.”

Hallelujah. Oh, joy. Insert eye roll here.

It’s supposed to be Opening Day, but baseball saw to ruining that. Instead: just another duller-than-dishwater Thursday. Thanks to the lockout, the season won’t start until April 7.

What to do, then? To the nearest ballpark!

Why? Absolutely no idea!

The Cubs were supposed to be in Cincinnati, so it’s not as if Wrigley Field and the streets surrounding it would’ve been hopping. But this? Who died? When did this neighborhood become a sleepy suburb? It’s eerily quiet for early afternoon.