Kyle Schwarber is That Ringer at the Softball Field

If you’ve ever played co-ed softball, you know exactly what I’m talking about. You show up for your work-league game and the team captain is cussing as he hangs up his phone, lamenting the fact that one of your guys is stuck in traffic or caught up with stuff at work. But then, as though equipped with some sort of distress radar, this big dude lumbers up and is like, “Hey bro, you need an extra guy?”

And this isn’t Jerry from IT or Kevin from the mail room, either. No, this is a guy who’s been spending 30 hours a week at the softball complex for the last few years and who’s been spending his alimony payments on the newest bats before they hit retail. You look around when ol’ dude approaches…