Fire everyone. Literally. Just burn it all to the ground, bulldoze the ashes under, and rebuild it. Monday saw a shitstorm tornado of frustration rip through trailer parks situated in the overlap of the Venn diagram between Cubs and Bears fans. The cold front of the Cubs’ poor offensive production in the second half met with a swell of warmth from a Bears’ season debut that saw them score their first opening-drive touchdown since Week 17 of the 2023 season. It was also their first opening-drive TD against the Vikings in their last 12 matchups.
So while the Cubs could only muster one run against Bryce Elder, who’d win a Cy Young if he could pitch against them 30+ times a season, the Bears looked like they were going to score at will.