The Bears need more than a kick in the ass

Photo by Naomi Baker/Getty ImagesWhen I was a kid, my brother and I used to spend indescribable amounts of time playing Super Smash Bros: Melee. It boggles the mind as to how much time exactly we spent cycling through a game that somehow never grew tiresome, but I’m not proud of the figure. I also won’t reveal it. The classic mash-up fighter of iconic Nintendo characters was my first experience with the fighting franchise, and it enthralled me from the moment I managed to knock my sibling out of a stage with a home run bat while playing as Yoshi.

But try and practice as I might, I could never consistently beat my brother. I was the overzealous kid mashing a combination of random buttons on a…