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Man, it was cold Sunday at Soldier Field.
How cold?
So cold, surrounding trees chopped themselves into firewood. Fans in the stands chipped their teeth on Italian sausages. Punts froze in midair.
Way too cold for the Bears to be playing a football game — unless it was against a dead-on-arrival opponent with a below-zero chance to beat them.
The Cleveland Browns, people — appreciate them for their world-class wretchedness. A 31-3 ice-cream-cake-walk was a delightful way for the Bears to spend a few hours under any conditions.