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Alexandra Petri: There is nothing toxic about my masculinity

Shoo, American Psychological Association, with your guidelines, shoo! I am speaking loudly and carrying a Big Stick! Get away, commercials for razors!

I will duel you to the death with an enormous saber that was once a tiger's tooth, and we will see whose masculinity is toxic!

I would rather leave my son to be suckled at a wolf's teat as true men once were than attempt to plan a week's worth of meals or wait until the APA has completely explained its position before I begin to object to it.

Are you saying men can't do JUSTICE any longer?