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Alexandra Petri: Goodbye, America! Tanks for everything!

On the Fourth of July, President Trump and his followers took over the Mall and the Lincoln Memorial, as tanks rolled down the streets and jets flew overhead. The Park Service diverted $2.5 million to pay for the extravagance. This, apparently, was a Salute to America, some sort of combination birthday-retirement-funeral? It is unclear where America is going, but you certainly seem to be on your way out.

Since you invited us to the party, America, the girls and I wanted to get together and do something sort of special before you leave for good. We all signed a card.