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Boston Red Sox to invade Toronto on free agent hunt

The Red Sox will succeed where our Continental Army failed during the Revolutionary War – an invasion of Canada. That misstep of the beginning stages of our revolution ended in an unmitigated disaster as British forces in Quebec City repulsed the Continentals and they had to slink back to the colonies. Not so this time.

The target of the invasion will be Toronto and not Quebec or any other city in Canada. The invading force will not be military, but something more ominous to Blue Jay fans – money. But will money alone pry loose the two most tantalizing tidbits that Toronto has as free agents?