The Boston Celtics came into the Eastern Conference Finals overwhelming favorites. But then a disturbance in the Force changed everything, and suddenly the Miami Heat held a 3-0 stranglehold over an utterly broken Celtics team.
Scientists soon observed that the universe had in fact cracked in half, and a great gravitational anomaly—centered on Earth at wherever the Eastern Conference Finals was being played—gave the Heat players supernatural powers, leaving the Celtics stumped.
But scientists are hopeful that the universe has realigned — because the Boston Celtics are in business.
And while whatever business that is was on the verge of bankruptcy four days ago, it is so in business it’s being traded on the Nasdaq and is barreling towards Fortune 500 status.